NotifyList thingy isn't working

So much for labour-saving devices - I installed a NotifyList panel so people could subscribe from the main page and... it doesn't seem to work.

Harumph! Double Cod-Liver Oil AND an enema for THEM tonight!

Until I get this sorted out any new subscribers should send Nurse Riches an email by clicking here and putting "Subscribe" in the subject line.

Powerlineblog and Joseph Wilson - will they apologise?

Having nothing better to do today now that Maureen's back at work since her suspected Bird Flu turned out to be just a bad reaction to a rather fiery Chilli chicken kebab, and having a spare half hour, I was idly clicking through some of the nastier Republican blog sites in the Internet Kiosk just next to the Visitor's Cafe, and dipped into the notorious Powerlineblog.com - an experience not to be recommended for the faint of heart or the squeamish.


Don't ask me why - must have been the two bottles of Barley Wine I had knocked back in my tea-break - but I was trawling through their archives, and came across a posting from July 2004 in which they triumphantly called former US Ambassador Joseph Wilson a serial liar for his report on the complete lack of evidence that Iraq was buying enriched Uranium "yellowcake" from Niger.


As we all now know beyond a shadow of a doubt, Wilson was right, the supporting documents were all blatant forgeries.

see the forgeries here.

The fallout from the Bush Administration's attempts to intimidate and discredit Wilson by illegally outing his wife as a covert CIA agent (and thereby endangering not only her life but the lives of all her carefully nurtured Middle Eastern contacts) is just about to explode very publicly across our newspapers and televisions as senior Whitehouse officials are dragged in front of the Federal Courts for their criminal actions, including perjury, obstruction of justice and, if there's enough provable evidence, treason.


Bearing all this in mind, and knowing how influential the rancid Powerlineblog is in Republican circles (and therefore the mainstream US Media), I couldn't resist the overwhelming urge to send them a little love letter from the British Annexe of Asylum Earth, which you'll find below. I'm expecting a fairly abusive reply, which I'll have great pleasure in posting here for your collective glee. I hope Powerlineblog don't disappoint me... I love a good bitch-fight!

Hello, Powerlineblog;

I was just browsing through your bitter blog, and found this from July 2004:
................

Kerry Clings to Yellowcake Myth

Former Ambassador Joseph Wilson, now exposed as one of the most bald-faced liars in American history, has been a campaign adviser to John Kerry. Wilson's website, risibly titled Restore Honesty, is paid for by John Kerry for President, Inc. So we've been wondering whether Kerry will distance himself from Wilson, now that the Senate Intelligence Committee report has exposed Wilson as a serial liar.

It appears, however, that Kerry still hasn't gotten the word on Wilson and the Niger uranium story. Just four days ago, in a press release titled "What Did He Know And When Did He Know It?", Kerry's campaign excoriated President Bush for his State of the Union reference to the "debunked...Niger/yellowcake claim," which Kerry also called the "false Niger claim."

.................

In the interests of honesty and decency (two virtues which you claim sole possession of, but which doesn't seem to be at all apparent from your aggressive, bigoted writings), and since your heroes are just about to be exposed as liars and criminal warmongers, and the lies that were used to start this illegal war for the personal enrichment of several fascist billionaires are all about to be uncovered, I wondered if you might be men enough to post an apology to ex-Ambassador Wilson, for calling him a serial liar? Does the Truth even MATTER to you? I wonder...

As Wilson said at the time, the yellowcake claim was unsubstantiated, and this has proved to be the absolute truth. Niger never had the capacity to maufacture Yellowcake uranium in the quantity or purity necessary for weapons production. The documents that your pin-up boys waved around at the UN were blatant forgeries fed to them by cohorts of Chalabi via the Italian Secret Service, which I suspect the CIA and the WhiteHouse Iraq Group knew perfectly well to be the case, and they were hell-bent on trying to shut Wilson up in the most intimidating way (short of having him bumped off) before anyone else got near the Real Truth of the matter.

Had the Bush/Cheney Administration not been so corrupt, two thousand American servicemen and women would still be alive, America would not be divided, and you, your children and your grandchildren would not be in astonishing, massive National Debt to the Chinese, who I'm sure will be calling in that debt with interest when it suits them… make no mistake about it.

Had the Bush/Cheney Administration not been harbouring incompetent, fascist dreams of world-domination through murderous force against a completely defenceless third-world tin-pot country, and had instead concentrated on capturing Osama Bin Laden in Tora Bora when they had the chance, you wouldn't be in the godawful mess you're in right now.

By the way... why do YOU think President Bush allowed every single member of the Bin Laden family free passage to escape from the USA the day after 9/11? What do you think personally of the deep, dirty financial involvement the Bush family has had with the Bin Ladens? Wouldn't you think that they should have been rounded up by the FBI and questioned, at the very least? Wouldn't you think that the President of the United States of America would want them captured and grilled for any information, seeing as their son was apparently behind the attacks? What do YOU think?

It's just a matter of time now before the Truth comes tumbling out about the lies and deception which people like you have championed because it suited your bitter, selfish, jaundiced view of the World, and your over-inflated opinions of your place in it. All you have succeeded in doing is to make your country a Pariah in the eyes of the World, and it will take many, many years for America to repair the disastrous damage done by the criminal gang which you hold so dear to your hearts.

Nobody believes a single word that spews from the President's mouth. The World knows he is a liar and a puppet. Your so-called Foreign Policy is incompetent and antagonistic. Frankly, America under the Republicans is a corrupt, vicious disgrace.

Tragically the Democrats are as incompetent and as morally dishonest as the Republicans, mired as they are in corporate influence and the old-boys network. The Republicans and their fanatical so-called Christian cheerleaders have divided your country in a shocking, profound way, and I can't begin to think who you have amongst you who is capable of building all those bridges necessary to make America a country worthy of respect again.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope you are men enough to accept the Truth when it is uncovered and have the moral integrity to deal with it, accept your part as mob supporters of a regime which has been responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of completely innocent Iraqi women, children and men, and to play your part through your influential blog in repairing the damage you’ve helped cause, instead of entrenching yourselves even deeper in your mutual Imperialistic, racist fantasies.

Some democratic Republic YOU turned out to be.

Here's a pertinent quotation for you to think about:

"It's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

Hermann Goering,

Kindest regards,

PETE RICHES

So... what do you reckon are the chances of getting an answer from Powerlineblog? Don't hold your breath!

Getting ready for H5N1... or NOT, as the case may be!

Hello, Visitors. I've got to cover Maureen's shifts at the Asylum for the next few days. I'll have time to fill you all in with the week's scandals mid-week.

She's come down with a touch of the Bird Flu, we think - her Turkey Neck was definitely looking a bit sweaty and wobbly on Friday night when we all went to the karaoke night at the 'Anaesthetist and Parrot'.

Come to think of it, the Parrot was looking a bit miserable!

Dr. Strangelove was telling me at lunchtime that the Asylum Board of Trustees have, as usual, left it far too late to stock up on enough vaccines for the patients and staff, because there's no profit in keeping miserable old age pensioners, snotty teenagers and unproductive babies alive.


Even though the Asylum Laboratory has been warning them for almost two years that this Bird Flu could potentially kill millions of people worldwide like in 1918, the Trustees took the position that since the Flu always begins in the Far East, and they've always secretly wanted something really bad to happen to those Godless Commie Bastards, and China-land is a long way away, they didn't need to do anything.

H5N1 virus (gold)

Now the penny has dropped, and they've realised that the virus is carried not by disposable humans who can be stopped from getting onto trains, planes and automobiles, but by hoardes of migratory birdies with wingies, and the deadliest strain is now 3/4 of the way across Europe, they'd better pull their bloody fingers out.


The Trustees have also discovered that Beijing Pharmaceuticals is already working flat out to supply all the other countries who had the intelligence to get their orders in early to beat the Christmas rush, and they have no extra manufacturing capacity because there are only five plants in the world capable of making the vaccine. The Trustees have just got enough vaccine in for themselves, so we're all screwed!


The good news, apparently, is that the funeral pyres will be administered by Halliburton...

Needless to say, when the H5N1 strain finally gets here, your ever-faithful Nurse Riches will be at your bedside to hold your hand and mop your fevered brow...

George Bush - Dictating Under The Influence?

Well! There was I, spending a nice quiet afternoon in the Supplies Cupboard with Maureen sorting out the surgical support stockings and matching up all the loose upper and lower dentures and just remarking on how peaceful it was when Laverne, the receptionist from the Visitor’s Centre, burst through the door gibbering like a lunatic, her eyes rolling wildly, and waving her Beijing Industries transistor radio around like a woman possessed.

Maureen had to tip out all her Sherbet Lemons and use the empty paper bag to clamp over Laverne’s mouth to stop her hyperventilating, and when she finally calmed down we were able to find out what had pushed her over the edge…

It’s Inmate Bush again, needless to say.

It seems that his psychosis is breaking out left, right and centre. Last month the National Enquirer (noted for taking great care to check sources legally before printing anything, believe it or not) reported on the whisperings that Junior is back on the booze, and that wifey Laura has announced she’s going to have to keep a closer eye on him:


BUSH’S BOOZE CRISIS

Faced with the biggest crisis of his political life, President Bush has hit the
bottle again, The National Enquirer can reveal.Bush, who said he quit drinking
the morning after his 40th birthday, has started boozing amid the Katrina
catastrophe.Family sources have told how the 59-year-old president was caught by
First Lady Laura downing a shot of booze at their family ranch in Crawford,
Texas, when he learned of the hurricane disaster.His worried wife yelled at him:
"Stop, George."Following the shocking incident, disclosed here for the first
time, Laura privately warned her husband against "falling off the wagon" and
vowed to travel with him more often so that she can keep an eye on Dubya, the
sources add.

…rest of article here

A couple of days after this emerged, there was another tell-tale tidbit, but I haven’t found any photos to back the story up, so if anyone’s got a photo I’d be only too happy to Xerox it and pin it to the Notice Board in the Visitor’s Lounge:

PRETZEL ADDICTION? (Sept. 22nd)

Jeebus. It looks like Bush has another scrape on his face today. Left temple.
This is ridiculous. How often does this have to happen before people finally
ask some serious questions? Falling on your face all the time is simply not
normal. And if he's out falling off his bike again while the country is
going to hell in a handbasket then people need to know that too.Update:
Maybe not. It could be something else. My bad. On the other hand, he's
flexing his jaw like crazy in a strange repetitive way. Too much coffee this
morning, perhaps?

…original posting here

As I read this, Laverne started gesticulating wildly, and was waving today’s “Asylum Times” under my nose. She’d highlighted an article on page three…

BUSH’S TWITCH

Okay, the last time I called attention to the new-found twitch in President
Bush's delivery, it was after the speech introducing now-Chief Justice John
Roberts, and many commenters protested that the President was just suppressing
laughter at the antics of Roberts' rambunctious son, present at the festivities.
That, even though most people's attempts to avoid laughter don't involve a
repetitive twitch.

Fine. In the intervening weeks, I've watched Bush speeches regularly,
and the twitch has remained a constant, although not in extemporaneous
appearances. Now, this week, in his press conference announcing the nomination
of Harriet Miers, the President has broken through that barrier, and here is the video evidence. As far as we know, the unmarried Ms. Miers didn't bring her
non-existent rambunctious son to tempt the President into laughter. Other
explanations, of course, are welcome.

…original article here

Below the article was a wide range of reader’s suggestions as to the cause of this very noticeable, repetitive twitching, ranging from:

GUILT

…I believe he is losing what little mind he has left after 25 years of boozing,
drugging and lying, cheating and stealing. It will get to even the worst
sociopaths, I imagine…

… Well, tomorrow (Thursday 10/6) is the big nationwide "major speech" lie on how well the war in Iraq is going. I think Bush will finally reveal himself. It won't be pretty…

to ONGOING COKE ABUSE

…It looks like Shrub may have relapsed into cocaine use (or maybe even ecstasy).
If someone at a club moves his jaw around like that, you know they are high on
something, and it ain't Jesus or America…

… I would have to agree
that it is connected to the use of cocaine or some kind of stimulant. When we
used to do those kinds of things, and the jaw-clenching started, we called it
"Cat-fishing." It was not pretty but it couldn't be helped. That's just what
Bush has been doing--he's been catfishing his way through a slew of public
appearances. Assuming that it would be far too risky for the president of the
United States to be doing cocaine (is that a valid assumption? I don't know), it
must be some other kind of narcotic stimulant but what could it possibly be?...

to BOOZE

…The man has been drinking since 2003, they've tried to limit it to Crawford,
and they try to keep his equilibrium with Xanax... and nothing is working. We're
looking at an alcoholic in the full THROES of his disease. The man is
permanently hungover in public and, I am CERTAIN, permanently drunk in private.
And I say this as a recovered alcoholic…

…I'm surprised nobody
noticed what was to me obvious; He's been drinking. I've seen semi drunk people
do the same exact thing.They space out and do weird things with their faces. Go
back and watch that clip again and look at how he's slower and mellower then
usual, he looks and sounds like he's put a few back, probably tequila…

to MAGIC MUSHROOM TEA

I think his face twitches every time he tells a lie while high on Laura's
Turdblossom Tea. That's Psilcybin Mushroom tea, kids. Why else buy an old cattle
ranch without cattle on it in a remote area of Texas with psychoactive mushrooms
that flourish in the soil generated by old cow patties in the fields? Why else
spend so much time clearing brush for cattle that aren't there? Didn't anyone in
the press corps ever wonder, "Why does this man feel he has to do this, of all
things, for himself?" Why else name your chief of staff after your favorite
'flora'?

to TARDIVE DYSKENESIA

…A chronic disorder of the nervous system characterized by involuntary jerky
movements of the face, tongue, jaws, trunk, and limbs, usually developing as a
late side effect of prolonged treatment with antipsychotic drugs.Maybe he
finally got some "help" for those substance abuse problems...but how terrifying
if this is what the man is like AFTER medication…

To STRESS & TEMPORO MANDIBULAR JOINT

My serious guess is that he has a bit of TMJ, which is a jaw clenching thing
people get when they're stressed to all hell. The movement he shows is pretty
consistent with what I've seen TMJ sufferers do from time to time to keep their
jaw loose, lest it clinch up quite painfully. I'm sure for press conferences he
doesn't want to be drowsy (or drowsier than normal) from painkillers and skips
them, hence more jaw wagging. If the guy ever manages to get two or three weeks
of good news it'll recede noticeably.

To ANTIPSYCHOTIC MEDICATIONS

… that is ALMOST the weirdest thing I ever saw. The last time I saw anything
like it was in 1968 when I was doing a rotation in an asylum when I was a
nursing student. Several of the patients were overmedicated with Thorazine and
they had similar (but more dramatic) tics. You are astute to notice this, and I
will be looking out for it in future. Another possibility since he doesn't do
this extemporaneously, is that he is like "Chatty Cathy" the doll whose string
gets pulled to get her to say things like, "I LOVE you!" Wow!...

You get the picture? What a helpful (If not necessarily sympathetic) heap of ideas. Whatever it is though, something’s definitely up, and it seems as if the strain of all that WHATEVER IT IS is busting out of Little Nutcase like a rash, and surely it’s only a matter of time before he makes a major gaffe in public which even the most myopic media sycophants can’t ignore.

Of course, all this stuff runs right the way through Bush’s family, and it hasn’t always been possible to make a few discrete phone-calls to the Governor or Chief of Police and make the incidents vanish…

JOHN ELLIS BUSH – DRUNK, RESISTED ARREST

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- The youngest son of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush was arrested
early Friday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest, law
enforcement officials said.

…full article here

NOELLE BUSH ARRESTED

One of the women here was caught buying crack cocaine tonight. And a lot of the
women are upset because she's been caught about five times. And we want
something done because our children are here, and they just keep letting it slip
under the counter and carpet... She does this all the time and she gets out of
it because she's the governor's daughter. But we're sick of it here 'cause we
have to do what's right, but she gets treated like some kind of princess. And
everybody's tired of it, you know. We're just trying to get our lives together,
and this girl's bringing drugs on property." Transcript, Orlando Police
Department, receiving an anonymous call from within the Center for Drug-Free
Living, where Noelle Bush is currently in rehab.

…full article here

And not forgetting their inspiration, of course…

GEORGE BUSH ARRESTED, LIES TO COVER UP

On September 4, 1976, a state trooper saw Bush's car swerve onto the
shoulder, then back onto the road. [The Bush camp spin that he was driving too
slowly is simply a lie.] Bush failed a road sobriety test and blew a .10 blood
alcohol, plead guilty, and was fined and had his driver's license suspended. His
spokesman says that he had drunk "several beers" at a local bar before the
arrest. Bush was 30 at the time. He now says that he stopped drinking when he
turned 40 because it was a problem.

More troubling, Bush lied in denying such an arrest, and still won't
take responsibility for his actions. His first reaction was to blame Democrats
and Fox News -- the only openly conservative TV network -- for reporting the
story. "Why [was this reported] now, four days before the election? I've got my
suspicions." He refused to say what his suspicions are, though. Bush admits
covering up the story, but seems to think he has no responsibility for the
failure of his cover up.

1. Bush Lied at his Press Conference, 11/3/2000

Bush said he paid a fine on the spot and never went to court. That is clearly a lie, as you can see on this court document showing his court hearing a month later.

In fact, it was a man also in court for DUI the same day who revealed Bush' arrest. Here is exactly what Bush said in his press conference:Bush: "I told the guy I had been drinking and what do I need to do? And he said, "Here's the fine." I paid the fine and did my duty...."Reporter: "Governor, was there any legal proceeding of any kind? Or did you just -- "Bush: "No. I pled -- you know, I said I was wrong and I ..." Reporter: "In court? "Bush: "No, there was no court. I went to the police station. I said, "I'm wrong."

2. Bush Lied in Court, 1978

Bush got a court hearing to get his driving suspension lifted early, even though he had not completed a required driver rehabilitation course. He told the hearings officer that he drank only once a month, and just had "an occasional beer." The officer granted his request. But Bush continued drinking for 8 years after that date and has said publicly that he drank too much and had a drinking problem during that time. Presumably Bush was under oath during the hearing, though we haven't been able to pin down that detail. The Bush campaign refuses to comment on this contradiction.

3. Bush Lied To "The Dallas Morning News", 1998

"Just after the governor's reelection in 1998, [Dallas Morning News reporter Wayne Slater pressed Bush about whether he had ever been arrested. 'He said, 'After 1968? No.'" Dallas Morning News, 11/03/2000 [Before 1968, Bush was arrested for theft and vandalism in college.]

4. Bush Lied On 'Meet The Press', 11/21/99

Tim Russert: "If someone came to you and said, 'Governor, I'm sorry, I'm going to go public with some information.' What do you do?" Bush: "If someone was willing to go public with information that was damaging, you'd have heard about it by now. You've had heard about it now. My background has been scrutinized by all kinds of reporters. Tim, we can talk about this all morning."

5. Bush Lied to CBS, 1999.

"Bush has often acknowledged past mistakes, but CBS News Correspondent Lee Cowan reports that in a 1999 interview with CBS station WBZ in Boston, he denied there was any so-called smoking gun." CBS TVnews

Bush also evaded countless questions and gave Clintonesque half-truths. For example, while struggling with how to answer charges of drug abuse, he said that he would have been able to pass FBI background checks during his father's administration. But those checks include the question "Have you ever been arrested for any crime?" So either he was directly lying, or he has some Slick explanation like "I could have explained the circumstances of the arrest and still passed the FBI check."

…full article here

…so is it any wonder, then that George’s daughter’s are following in Daddy’s teetering footsteps?

GENNA BUSH ARRESTED

According to reports, Jenna and Barbara Bush, the 19-year-old twin daughters of
President Bush, were caught trying to order drinks at a Mexican restaurant in
Austin. It is the second time in less than a month that University of Texas
freshman Jenna has been caught drinking underage. She pleaded no contest to a
charge of being a minor in possession of alcohol after getting ticketed by
police at a popular Austin nightclub. A judge ordered her to pay $51.25 in court
fees and serve eight hours of community service, plus six hours of alcohol
awareness training.

…full article here

Oops! Time to go! Feeding time, I'm afraid.